Helpful Hints For Dealing With A Friend Who Lives With Chronic Pain

It can be very frustrating for both people. The one suffering daily with some pain level, and the friend of this person.
The friend may long to go out and do even the most simple of things  with their chronically painful friend (which I will refer to as "CPF " from here on out).
They may call and see if CPF would like to go out and have lunch. Excited as CPF may be about the thought of doing this.....CPF may be reluctant to commit to doing it out of fear that after a few minutes of sitting and chatting they will be overcome with pain and need to leave. Or that they will be overcome with pain and can't focus their needed attention to the conversation of their friend.
The friend may think that CPF don't like them anymore or has become cold toward their friendship.
Now CPF has more than chronic pain....CPF has a debilitating fear of how the pain effects him or her while trying to do the most easy and what used to be fun things to do with their friends.
After a chronic pain sufferer has gone out with family or friends a few times to end up being walked or nearly carried out of a public place because of pain...they don't want it to happen again. Its not only physically painful, its emotionally painful and embarrassing.
Most chronic pain sufferers have to take certain amounts of narcotics to dull the pain enough to try and carry on with natural daily tasks, like getting out of bed, going to the bathroom, getting the mail,ect ....
They have to make plans for needed trips to shop and even to go out for lunch. Specially if they must drive themselves to do these things. CPF must plan ahead trying to make sure they haven't been up and down the whole night before and maxed out on pain meds, plus being exhausted from a bad night, and do a lot of praying, hoping they will sleep well...get up, take as little pain meds as possible so they will be able to drive safely to their appointments. Never knowing if the morning will bring a onset of pain that will stop their plans completely.
Does it sound like Im describing a mental patient? Yes, I am.
Chronic pain that disables anyone from carrying on a normal life after having a normal life physically does have issues and are usually seeing someone for the mental depression that goes with all the side effects of life change, fear, medications, lack of friendships, tired of having to explain why they can't do things like they really want,and seeing the dis-believing or judgmental look on peoples faces who just don't understand.
Even the bravest of warriors and most faithful to a healing God in heaven can be brought down by chronic pain. Its not a pretty sight!
So friends of CPF's...please don't feel offended when CPF calls back and says in a hearty voice...sorry but I can't make it. They may even use some other excuse because they are too embarrassed to say the truth.
Pray for CPF and don't stop asking or label them as a fare weather friend that you just don't have time to deal with. Most likely CPF is hurting more than you know. Not just physically, but mentally, because they know their problems are making a wedge in your relationship.
Its not fare for you who have CPF as a friend. Its not fare that you have to arrange and rearrange your schedule to be able to have a bit of good time with CPF. CPF knows this and hates it more than you can imagine. Just know that CPF does value your friendship. Even if its just a call and a kind word. Don't give up on your friendship. It may be different than other friendships you have, but its worth it in the end.
Disabled people may not be able to do everything others can. But they can still pray for you, they can still love you, and thanks to internet they can even do some types of work from home. From bed if need be...
Everyone has a ministry in them. CPF's do, and so do their friends.
Neither one should ever give up on the other. Just love and try to understand.